Episode 7: 90s parenting vs parenting in 2026 - raised on capri sun and neglect

If you grew up drinking Capri Sun and disappearing until dinner, this one’s for you. We’re comparing 90s parenting to parenting in 2026, exploring how a generation raised on independence (and questionable supervision) is now navigating gentle parenting, boundaries, and constant information overload. Was it neglect or did it make us resilient? We talk through the cultural shift, the pressure on modern parents, and what we’re keeping, changing, and laughing about along the way.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to the Co-Carrating Chronicles. I'm Chelsea. And I'm Jennifer. And this is a podcast about something we didn't exactly plan and become expert done, but definitely learn the hard way. We're not therapists, we're not lawyers, well, not expertise, but we'll get to that later. We definitely don't have it all figured out. What we are is to try to decide that even though our relationship is common, active rating healthy, and we'll talk about growth and boundaries for staff and what actually calls the functional culture even more. And others may include experts, real life stories, our partners, and practical tools that you could actually use. Whether you're newly separated, years into co-parenting, or supporting someone who is, the space is for you. Because co-parenting isn't about being perfect. It's about being intentional. And choosing your kids even on the hard days. Thanks for being here. That's a con that nobody asked for. All right. We're fucking back, bitches. So if you grew up in the 90s and your parents didn't know where you were, and honestly, they were fine with that, right? So true. You know, we were raised one way, and now we're parenting our kids in a totally different world. And I think that we wanted to do this episode so that we can kind of acknowledge those generational shifts. And, you know, it's not really like what we were doing was bad or what our parents were doing was bad. It was like they were doing what was normal at that time. I mean, maybe that's why things were a simpler time though. Right. Like I really appreciate the way that I was raised and brought up. And I mean, I love the nineties. I wish that I could we could go back to the nineties every day. I wish that I had bought property in the nineties. I wish I had not been a child in the nineties. I wish I was an adult in the nineties. Same. Like, you know, so it's just definitely a different world. And I think we kind of wanted to highlight uh those differences in this episode and kind of just have some laughs and nostalgia and yeah, definitely. I mean, so Jenna and I were both children of the 90s, and I think it's trending because, like I had just previously said, it did feel simpler, it felt happier. I, you know, I mean, and maybe that's just because we were oblivious, right? Because we didn't have social media, we didn't have a little computer in our hands at all times telling us how unhappy we are. You just kind of had to accept what things were what they were, and yeah. Yeah, and I I think the freedom of not having that technology was it was really kind of special, I feel. We kind of grew up in that like last generation before it hit. You know, the last and the first you know what I mean? Like we were the first generation that had as children, we started to get social media. What when did you get a MySpace? I got a MySpace I in eighth grade. I wasn't allowed one, but of course I made it. We had a secret one, yeah. But I didn't have in I didn't have internet yet. So I would just go to my friend Morgan's house and what was it you were probably something embarrassing about a boy. I was just thinking about this the other night. I shit you now. I was like, what was that boy's name? This boy I met on MySpace, you know, and we would do the little sign heart, Will, and Will, I was oh my god, his name was Will. I don't know how the fuck I'm I was thinking, what's he up to? What what do you think that is going on with Will? But like also that all of us were like coding, like all of us knew how to like code code to for your MySpace profile that I was doing. Amy didn't know a code now, but I was doing it. I remember the and hearts with the colon, not the colon, semi-colon. What was the ones I had like uh I had like the less than symbol with a three? So it was like a love. Mine was he's my heart throb. Like for what? What what does that even mean? Do fit embarrassing. Interesting time. Ah, sorry, we went off on a little rant again, surprise. Yeah, so I feel like let's just kind of set the stage for what parenting would have felt like. And I think that we can't obviously talk directly about what it felt like as a parent because we were children. I mean, I remember not having supervision like our kids have. I think that was a big one. Yeah, my mom was a single mom. She worked till seven o'clock at night, and I was a latch key kid. If I forgot my key to the house, then I could use my um student ID or credit card. I didn't have a credit card, but like I lived at my neighbor's house basically. But I would just swipe that in the back door and like into my house. But I had I had a key too. I mean, my parents were divorced and was putting herself through college um to get her bachelor's degree, and she was a waitress, and my dad, you know, he worked. And so I remember having to walk across. I went to a Catholic school in Lake Geneva, and Highway 50 was like that big street going down Main Street, you know, going into Main Street, Lake Geneva, and I went to a Catholic school, and I would have to cross Highway 50 to my dad's condo, and then I would let myself in, I would make myself a snack, and then I would walk all the way to downtown Lake Geneva to dance class and then walk home. And I'm like, that's crazy. I would never have no cell phone. I was in like I was in third grade, I was nine years old. That's Ava's age. Mind you, do I think Ava's responsible enough to do that? I wouldn't trust Cora to do it. Oh god. But I think so. I think it does depend on the kid to for us in this parenting age to like, you know, how much supervision does that child need? I think it's a case by case, child-by-child basis. But that wasn't how it was in the 90s. Everyone was like us in the 90s. Yeah, it wasn't like rare that we took the city bus. I mean, when I was nine years old, I was already my next door neighbor. They're like my second family. And their daughter, their oldest daughter was a year younger than me. So we became best friends. And then they ended up having two other kids. And when I was nine and ten, and they also had an in-home daycare. So I grew up raising children. Um, I was a child raising children. I loved it. We were pushing triple strollers. I had like a baby strapped here to the back because she would have like 12 kids a day, and like three newborns and a bunch of toddlers. Like they were all under six. But I think everyone did at-home daycare. I mean, I like I grew up at at-home daycares, like when I was little enough. Like, I don't think that like daycare facilities were like nearly I mean, maybe quote me if I'm wrong, we'd have to ask one of our parents. I didn't ever have to go because I would go to my grandma's when I was younger. Yeah. Young, young. But then when I was like nine, eight or nine, I started well when Jess, my next door neighbor, became my best friend, it was like didn't really make sense because I could just walk to school and walk in with her. But do you also do you think okay? So here's a good question. Do you think that we had more at-home daycares at that time point because we relied more heavily on our neighbors? Like, I don't talk to my neighbors, I don't do things for my neighbors. If I see my neighbors outside, I usually try to go out the back door so I can avoid seeing them. And they're perfectly nice. Like I don't want to, I don't want to talk to them. We're lucky to have one good, like we have, we actually are pretty close with our neighbor, and she she's a cleaning lady and she cleans for both the Jedi and I actually we uh share her shadow destiny. Love you. But um, like everyone else we don't talk to, like across the street, kitty corner on both sides, the other side, like we don't talk, like whereas I feel like I grew up and my grandparents had block parties, and my grandparents know all their neighbors. I know them because they're my grandparents' neighbors, you know, like they were invited, some of our neighbors were invited, my parents' neighbors were invited to my wedding. And so I just think it's like okay, that is also different the sense of community, and how as parents at that time, I think we really did you had to lean on each other. And I think that was normal. It wasn't even I agree, yep. Yeah, it was not really something that people thought about, I feel at the time. It was just the natural way of doing things. Yeah, absolutely. And as far as like kids, I think you know, coming out coming home when the streetlights come on, that we were the last generation to have that as well. Like, I mean, that was truly a thing. Like that was it really was almost like cliche to say, you know, like that's what like everybody hears nowadays, you know, but it's the truth. When you know it's time to come in, like be home, it's time for dinner, you know. Which is also wild to me too. I think that we eat early because I have to go to work at night usually. Yeah, but like we really didn't have dinner until like late. I guess I I don't even know. I'd like I honestly my mom and I my mom never like made a dinner every night. Like we just didn't have girl dinner. We were a single mom and a you know. I was hamburger helper, but usually I would be making dinner for that because she didn't go home until seven. So, like, you know, hamburger helper and how Ava loves her helper so hard. It's so good. Ava loves it now too. I don't think the other kids love it nearly as much as Ava does. She, yeah, it's it's like it's a table in our house. Sorry, because I do work at nights, and my husband is not a great cook. There's minimal things that that man can make. I love him, but cooking is not a quality of his, and so hammer helpers. Easy, but I think as dinner in a box is a typical 90s single parenting meal. Yeah, you know. It was good, it was easy, and that was that was it, honestly. You know what else we really liked as like a dessert? We liked those. I don't even know if they make them anymore, like what they're called, but they're like those pies, like the crusted pie, and they kind of like have icing over them, and they're like apple, cherry. It was like a glazed that they came in a box. Yeah. Well, yeah, they came in a box or like a uh bag, like a glass you can get. It was almost like uh it almost felt like a paper bag, not a plastic bag. Yes, it was like, yes, it was papery. Yeah, those little apple turnovers. Yeah, yes, like turnovers, yeah, and you could put them in the freezer and they were really good cold. We would fucking we would get milk in a bag. You could tell in a bag. Milk in a bag. You could tell Jenna's pregnant right now. She's like, she's like, ugh, I could eat a turnover right now. Oh my god, they were so good. And they're they if they still have them now, they're probably shit. They're probably nowhere near as good. I think another um really good nostalgic memory and just you know a difference in pariting was like the minimal communication. I think that you and I as parents are still we we have the same opinion on technology with our children. We don't want them to be behind. We obviously know that their peers are gonna have iPads and things like that, but I think as far as I don't know, we haven't really had the talk yet because I think we don't I I personally don't feel like our nine-year-old should have a phone. I don't think I don't think she has no reading. But you and I have talked about getting home phones. Uh yeah, I I mean it's actually a thing. And he's already looked into it. I would like to get truly a landline. It kind of sucks because you can't get like a hardwired landline anymore. You can get a Wi-Fi one. But it's a Wi-Fi one, you know, so as long as your Wi-Fi is working, at least it'll work. You can get a hardwired one, can't you? I've looked, it's like it's yeah, it's like really because it's like they are getting rid of all those lines now. They're physically don't exist pretty much anymore. They literally just want us to just be so reliant on a grid. Which is fucking insanity because think of what would happen if they just like took out if somebody just took out our whole power grid and we didn't have power for days on end. I mean, I think but not having also like we just normal communication throughout the day. Um, I don't know. I think it was good, but a lot of people have contact with their kids. Like I I we have friends that are teachers who just told me a story where they reprimanded a kid for doing something wrong, and then two seconds later her classroom phone is ringing and it's that parent. You know, how can teachers do their jobs if they have, you know, and your kid, how can your how can teachers do their jobs and how can your children learn if they're on their phone immediately like texting their parents about what just happened at school, you know? I just don't think it's necessary. I think that like well, just with anybody, not even just as a parent, but I don't think it's necessary for us to have access to somebody at all times at a day. What do you talk about? If you've been texting your partner nonstop all freaking day, which I don't know, I'm just not that kind of person anyway. Anthony, my husband, is very old school in that way, like where he has a hundred text messages and it gives me complete anxiety. Andy doesn't respond to my texts. I probably look like a crazy look. Because I'll like text him my thoughts throughout the day, like, oh, we have to do this or we need to get this. Like a memory or like a to remember here are the dates that you need to make sure you're not working. And I just yeah, it really is like for me, but also for him. But he doesn't read my messages anyway, so I don't know why I bother. But if I were like sitting on an airplane and someone were sat behind me and I were to open up our thread, they would be like, Oh, that guy's getting yelled at. But really, it would be grocery less. Yeah, exactly. Don't forget River has some class. He's just never responds. Yeah, and Ava has swimming at five today. Don't forget, I won't be home in time, so you have to take all the kids with you. Like, but also it's like so, like, I do that to Anthony as well, but then he'll get a message for me and then he'll just call me. And then I get annoyed because I'm like, Well, why didn't you just respond? Right. And just now he's calling me. I don't want to talk for 15 minutes, you know. And that's but then I get mad at him. I think just yeah, I think as as far as parenting, like, you know, I think you had to check in when you had to check in. Also, but I think it also kind of shows you that you I think we were around our parents more. If you know what I'm saying, like I as far as like I remember, like, we didn't do as much. Like, we didn't have to have these like constant activities for our children to be in. I mean, I was involved in a couple things, but it was mostly when I got to the age that it was involved with school because then I would just stay at that practice after school. My core memories of being like younger, like I don't remember doing a crazy amount of activities where I feel like now we're just shoving our kids and booking their schedules until like so they have no form of childhood whatsoever. Every minute of their life is booked, you know. I know it's like yeah, and I mean that I feel like it's kind of different how kids leading into that, how kids fill their time for what you know, what we were doing after school. You know, I was jumping on my trampoline, going for bike rides, like because I was allowed to get on my bike and ride around. I panic when the girls know like the girls. Yeah, we allowed that, we allow them to go around the block because they have a friend that lives across the street from us, and then across the street, uh a block down. I was like, they're outside kids all the time. But I'm like, wait, though. But that's completely you know, it is, but you worry the second they're out of your sight, right? Because we're just we have so much access to information. Like you were talking about this earlier with me. It's like the is the world a bad place, or are we just highlighting the bad people and it makes us more scared? Are our children more sheltered now? Because well, yeah, I mean, they definitely, they definitely are. I was riding my bike down all the way downtown to go jump off the freaking pier, and my parents had no knowledge. And I I don't think my argument would be that you know, we say things like, Oh, it was a different world back then, it was a different time. Like, it really wasn't a different world. The world, you know, uh the the horrible things that were going on in the world are m are different than what they are now. Maybe some things are still very much the same, obviously, but it's it's always been the same places there's always war, there's always bad people, the same things are constantly happening. They're still happening, they just weren't as you know, we didn't have our phones to tell us all of these horrible things. We didn't have all these crazy wild documentaries on true crime and you know, podcasts on true crime, and but when you all these stories that you hear about when you were talking about filling your time and you were saying you were jumping down a trampoline, you were riding your bike, like I think that was a better part about parenting is that we allowed our children to be bored. Yeah, they had to use their imagination. Yeah, there was no like our technology in our house. If my mom decided not to cancel cable, because she would be like, Nope, they jacked up the price, she'd call and cancel so that like a month later they would be like, Yeah, oh here, you can get HBO showtime and throw the whole yeah to come back. So like calling your mom. Yeah, my uncle, her older brother, called it child abuse. He would like call and be like, Oh, Frosty the Snowman is on. And my mom would be like, We don't have cable, but we have it on VHS. He's like, That's child abuse. Can you imagine that? But we would do mother-daughter nights on Monday nights. We would play like games, Scrabble, sorry. But that's so good. And I think that because we have those core memories, or you have those core memories, I do think that that gives us a difference in our the way that we parent our children because I don't let our kids be on their iPads for eight hours of the day. I truly don't. Like we have time limits on them. I can tell when Cora, especially, I can tell when she's on it too much because she gets so emotional and like just acts like she just like needs a nap. She gets sassy, like she uh she also gets like very like Ava can put her iPad down. Oh yeah. And Ava will go and like read a book or she wants to play a game. She gets bored with it. Like she gets bored with it, but Cora will like oh it's like I had to yell at like after we had the time change last week. It tricked them, I think, that they didn't really believe that it was the time that it was because it's still dark out in the morning. And so they were awake. I check that they were awake because they have an alarm. They get up in the morning, they get ready themselves, like, but they weren't coming out of their room. So like I go in the room and I'm like immediately like try to hide the iPad. I'm like, what are you doing? Like, no iPads before school. Absolutely not. Like you don't even have a TV on before school, and that's how I know they're sneaky because they know that for our house. We don't, I don't even allow the TV on. And then, of course, I was getting dressed. I'm like, don't lie to me, girl. I was like, no more, no more iPads, and no more iPads the last hour before bed. I don't care because it's not good for them to be watching an iPad this close to their face right before bed. You know what I mean? Like I've heard they tell me, they tell me all the time. We get to do it at daddy's house. I'm like, no, you don't. I'm like, don't lie to me. No, no. Andy is really good too. He yells, he yells like a lot at Cora, especially because he's like, these stupid iPads. Like, because he gets angry about it as well. Because he's like, What? What are you doing? No more iPad. I don't know. Like, well, and that's but that's I think that's like a normal thing nowadays. That's come right. And I should be. I think it's completely normal. Parents have this, like they have this war with their kids. Some maybe not all, but like sometimes they have this war with their children about technology and like taking the iPad away. And like that could be like a punish a form of punishment now, right? Like, whereas for kids, like, what did what did we get punished with? Like when we were grounded, it was like we couldn't hang out with our friends. Yeah. Whereas now, like kids don't hang out anymore. No. Like, I don't we have our neighborhood is filled with kids. I don't see them out in the streets playing, playing basketball. Like we used to. My brothers would pull the basketball hoop out from our driveway and put it in the middle of the street. And then when a car came, you yelled, they had little skateboard ramps and they would pull out in the middle of the street. Like there's kids aren't just playing anymore. I mean, even like even Vinnie in is in high school and they're not doing things. Like it and so I don't know, like it just it's they literally are all just glued to a screen. And like, I'm sorry, like me, I try not to be judgmental when it comes to other people's parenting styles, but I'm sorry. I think that I think I think you're messing up. I think we're raising a generation of people that don't know. I mean, kids don't even know how to have conversations, they don't know how to look you in the eye, they don't even know how to fucking tell time on an actual clock. There's things now that you have to step in as a parent, regardless if it's been what's deemed as normal. Why are we raising a generation of children that are just staring at screens? We're not gonna have any artists anymore. We're not gonna have any writers, we're not gonna have anything because you had to do, you have to be bored as a child to figure out that you were good at those things. Yeah, and that's why it's like, okay, screen time, no TVs, no iPads, like get out the coloring book. And that's like the one, the one thing, too, that's always that Andy's always been really good at is having plenty of stuff for the girls to do arts and crafts. Because they love to do arts and crafts. They have tons, they have each have their own easel. You know, we'll get them new canvases and they have their own little painting supplies and but Jenna, I think that's what separates like you and Andy as parents from like other people because it's hard to be a good parent. It's hard to have to sit down and look away from your own damn thought. Yeah, and that's the thing too. And that's the argument that a lot of people have. It's like, oh well, we have our phones glued to our hip. And I and I feel so guilty about that. Like, I hate when I feel like I'm like just death scrolling, like for no reason. I'm not on my phone for any reason, and I want to get off of it, but like you're just like you know, like brain rot. Since we started our podcast, I have noticed that I am not on my phone anymore unless it's related to like what we're doing. Yeah, what we're doing. It's honestly helped me a ton because I would just doom scroll scroll on TikTok, and now I'm just like, no, like unless through unless you're making me money, I don't need to be on social media. Like, and it's true. Like, I don't it's that's for my other business as well, like as a hairstylist. Like, unless I'm making a post for a client, unless I'm answering a client's message. I barely ever go on my own personal Instagram now. I'm only parenting product. No, if you're not making me money, I don't want to see you on social media. So sorry. Oh my gosh. Yeah, I don't know. Like, it's just do you think that it was? I mean, I always think about how scary it would have been to not know where your kids are. And I always asked my like, but I think it was because that was normal then. Everyone was doing that. And I mean, I know my mom, my mom was like very overprotective in that way. Like, she worried a lot. Like, I needed to check in in the summertime when I would just have free rain. You know, she's going to work 50 minutes away. That's how far she was. I thought she was still in town. I didn't know. Liberty bill. So she's going to work 50 minutes away. And she just had to do it. That's how she provided for you. Like what choice did she have? Exactly. And so I would just be at home and we'd go to the skate park. She didn't want me going to the skate park. It was quite far, you know, like it's not really that far, but it's like two miles, I guess. So we're riding our bikes or walking to the skatepark. Skate park. And then from there we're going to the lake and jumping off the pier. And my mom, which is even further, like a three-mile walk from where my mom lives. And like, you know, Lake Michigan, many people, many people have died jumping off that pier just here in Kenosha. The undercurrent is really bad. And I am happy that that's not a thing anymore. Like kids really aren't jumping off the pier anymore. And I'm like actually kind of happy about that. They actually have like they actually have the like those life-saving buoys and stuff that you can throw off there. They were not there when we were kids. I think not having GPS trackers attached to our kids. And I like, I'm sorry, like I'm grateful for that, especially because we do co-parent. I like knowing where Jude is when he can't be with me. Yeah, and I mean that's a good I think that's just like one of those things, one of those positive things that technology has brought us. Because For sure. For sure. Because even though I feel bad for them, you're never gonna get away with shit. Yeah, right. Good luck. Sneaking out of your house like I was at 15 years old and going to party. It's like I'll fucking find your ass. Exactly. Unless they just leave their phones and never would they never would because they're so glued to them. I think I yeah. It's just one of those things where I think that our parents worried, but they allowed it to happen because, you know, I think that it fosters independence and allows your kids, it's good for your kids to be able to go and play with their friends and experience things. And I think that was another big thing. When I say play with your friends, it's like it depended on who I was with, on how over concerned, overly concerned my mom would be. Like if I were with like my best, my closest best friends that I was, you know, and there were three or four of us, she worried a lot less. Not if I went to the lake and was jumping off the pier, because obviously that's a whole different ballpark. There's not really but if we were in like a big number, and if I were with my boy, like all my cousins are boys, if I were with Keegan or Frankie, she didn't worry at all. She would be like, I could be out way later if I was like with Keegan doing stuff at night because it was like, oh, you're with your you're with your cousins. And yeah, they're not gonna let anything bad happen to you. Yeah. So she just felt a lot more a lot safer. I mean, I think that I can I think that we still feel like that now as parents. You know what I mean? Like it's definitely situational, you know, when you even when we've talked in previous episodes about sleepovers and stuff. Like it's it's situational. Yeah, because I mean, I think as parents, we're we haven't gotten to this point yet because our kids are still so young. I mean, maybe you have with Jude or Vinny, but sometimes they're just gonna they're definitely gonna be friends, somebody who's like they're also not the greatest kid, or maybe it's not the kid, it might be their home life or how how they were brought up, right? We don't really know. But some somebody who's like maybe not the best influence, right? And I think that or maybe who's not even about influence, but just not nice and not a nice kid, right? Not respectful. And I think if my kid were like, oh, I'm gonna go just with this person somewhere, and I was unfamiliar with that place, and I also didn't like that kid. I don't want to say like I don't like kids because obviously this hasn't happened yet, but I just can foresee little kids are an asshole. Foresee, like, you know, some little shithead. Like there's people that I've stopped being friends with in my adult life as I've become a parent because I've been like, dude, you're kids, which means that like they're an extension of you, bro. Like, so I don't know what you're doing, you're not parenting right. And obviously they're not gonna be perfect, and that hasn't changed from the 90s. I think those were also hopes and things that people wanted at that time. Everybody wanted that for their kids. I just think that it's you know, because of the lack of communication that we didn't have like strapped to our, you know, we didn't have a phone attached to us at all times. Like, you really did just have to check in. Or I remember there was times where like I needed to get a hold of my pair of it. Definitely uglier. We were, I don't know, man. I think our style was on point. It's it definitely was our style, yes. But like I mean, haven't you even seen that trending though now? How everyone is like talking about iPhone face and how no like everyone looks the same now, and it's creepy, and there's no one who's like unique, and like people, everyone it's this trending thing right now that everyone's talking about. How because everyone gets filler, everyone does their makeup the same, everyone does the same hair extensions, they have the same um dental veneers that they're getting, is that people are all starting to look the same. They have iPhone face, and we miss these nostalgic actors who looked different and their teeth were messed up and they were gonna all have different hair. Well that's how I feel that's how you feel about people, reality TV too. Like, even just reality TV now, everybody when they come on is an influencer. Whereas if you go back to reality TV in the 90s or even the 2000s, like I mean, come on, Rock of Love, Brett Michaels. Did you see those women? I mean, they were like LA dialed up, had like fake boobs, but like they were not they were not, I don't want to say they weren't good looking, they just weren't like, oh my god, so hot, so perfect looking. You know what I mean? They just looked like normal people. It was, I don't know. It was just really I you I missed that. I missed that. I mean, I think that kind of leads into a big good talking point though, about like screens and entertainment and how that's changed. How you know, I think that we know we could touch base on like how we have screen limits and how we have like ratings for different content and stuff like that. But I don't think that we were like I Anthony and I were just talking about this. My husband and I were talking about um like how that would have never been a thing. Like now with how woke everything is and just like woke culture. Everybody's so hypersensitive to the city. Everyone is so sensitive. We truly were the last good generation of like I got even just like movies. I'm like, this is freaking hysterical. And I think that I I do see a shift. I think people are kind of over music, like just you hear it, like you're like, oh, they would never put that in a song now, you know? And it's like it and it and we didn't think I don't know. Our parents I don't know about your parents, but my parents didn't, they weren't checking. I remember, nope, I take that back. I remember my mom was so against us getting a new MM album because that had a different rating. It was the first time, not the first time, but it was in my childhood, it was the first time that she was like, that's got a bad rating on it. Like she had to have the parental advisory, but you can get it with appropriate or whatever. And so it was a huge version. My brother Danny was like old. They my parents said I was old enough for him to get it, but not for me and Josh to listen to it. And it's like, of course, the second you leave the house, we're listening to that shit. Like, but it was just, you know, I think we were like a little bit less unsupervised. Like 90s parents didn't supervise her monitor while we were watching. Yeah, my mom didn't care. Maury in the morning. Yeah, Maury, Joy Springer. Gosh, what was that radio show? Yeah, she would come on at like two o'clock in the morning and she'd have like, I don't know, like a dildo and like show like people, you know, she'd be like, because people would call her and this old grandma would like answer their questions, like, oh, I'm having this problem. She was like a radio host, Delilah. Do you remember Delilah? She had really saltry. Yeah. And it was the same thing. And so I remember like driving home from my first job at Piggly Wiggly, and I would like listen to it on the right. Obviously, I'm 16. You know, what do I know? Oh my gosh. I know. Well, and that's the thing, right? My mom, my mom didn't, there was never anything that I wasn't like allowed to watch that my mom would be like, come watch this movie with me. They did our movies growing up. My one of my favorite movies was Valley Girl. And I probably since like I was three or four, and I know that sounds really young, but like I'm not even kidding. Like, I'll be like, I wish I could phone in my mom right now. Like, watch my all-time faves. Like, I my mom just let me well in music too. Like, I was nervous when I first got um the MM LP. Uh I I burned it from a friend and I labeled it like now 10X. Like, not, you know? And I was like nervous, like nervous that my mom was gonna be upset. But then I just started listening to it. Yeah, well, my mom loved Eminem. Yeah. So she was like, oh, I don't care. Because she loved him. And that's how she's always been with music. If she likes the person or if she likes the movie, then it's like, yes, you can watch it. She didn't like Matilda, like she always refused to allow me to own Matilda. Matilda's annoying. Which I really hated because she couldn't handle she hated Miss Trench Bulls. She was like, That bitch. Absolutely not. Like she was like a fucking hater. I think what's I mean, a good uh talking point is about how the difference between like we had commercials, that was what would make us want things like toys, regals, and the movies that were gonna be coming out, different things that were going on. Exactly. Oh my I remember like falling asleep, and then you wake up with the TV back on, and it's like all the infomercials. Pizza Brig. Yes. Oh, and it just has all the names of the songs and the artists scrolling up the TV. But it's like it there is a shift though, because it's like, okay, I'm sorry, like our kids also basically have commercials are just influencers now that are getting paid, just like and so it's almost taking the power away from those companies because now those companies, instead of needing commercials, they need the influencers to send them free shit so that our kids will want it because they have like the YouTube or different ads or things that come up on games and things like that. And that's it's it's almost the same thing. Advertising's still there, it's just even within a different. I I will say that we definitely had better pop culture though, like for sure. We like, I mean, our kids will never understand like the grip that no like celebrities and people uh artists had on us, you know. Dude, well, they just boy bands they don't exist. Oh my gosh, yeah. I mean, definitely uh unsupervised a lot more unsupervised, unsupervised, but also we didn't, our parents had no power. We were TV kids too, and that's extended. So I kind of remind myself that when I'm hard on myself about like like, you know, okay, our kids being on a screen too much. We were TV kids growing up in the 90s. All of us were, especially because our working we were, I think the 90s was probably the 80s into the 90s, but truly we're it was the last generation where you saw both parents were working, you know. Whereas in the 60s and 70s, you would probably still have there was divorced parents and things like that, but it was like less common to have two working parents still. Whereas I feel like going into the 80s and 90s, that's when you really start to see that shift. Um, and so we did have constant unsupervised screen time. I mean, Anthony's tells stories about um my mother-in-law, shout out, shout out, Mama Jen. She's a shit. But like she would work as a cocktail waitress at Mandalay Bay and she was tired. And so she would take the kids to the movie theater and they would see multiple movies in a day, and she would pay for it just so that she could sleep. She was still in the movie theater with them. Yeah, she's but like saw in laws just always she just she had to sleep. She was she was a single mom, you know, and so I think and I love that because it's just so true to that time. I remember my dad like taking me to movies just because it was like a way to entertain me and he could just get a break. Right, you know, right. So I mean, I guess you know, things really haven't changed. I think it's more so we know like the science behind it now, or like in the 90s we were blissfully unaware. Yeah, and now that I'm thinking about it, like just just I feel like here's a good question. Do you think that kids were easier to care for in the 90s? Easier than they are now? And I just when you said, Oh, my yeah, dad would take me to the movies just you know, because we're to find something to do, right? And just to kind of keep you busy and occupied. Do you think like I don't think it was easier? I think it was just the time. I think we were blissfully unaware. Yeah, because do you think kids now when they're bored, they're more like, I'm bored, I'm bored, I'm bored, like what can I do? Versus, I mean, we still got bored. I mean, I would complain about being bored when I was a kid all the time. But you would just find something to do. Whereas like now our kids don't know how to entertain themselves. Yeah, so they kind of linger and like you know, like they're looking to you to like, you know, find something for them to do. Do you think that it was easier to parent in a way? I think our parents definitely had it easier to parent. I mean than we do. I would say more so. I don't think maybe the kids were easier, I think the times were easier, yeah, is the best way to say it. And I think like just what what the children, what we actually had access to versus what our kids have access to now. But I think it's like we also, I don't know, I think that it's just we also didn't know enough about mental health at that time period. Right. I think we didn't have enough diagnoses of you know, like kids in I didn't you didn't have to overly sensitive taking care of your kids, right? Like you weren't overly emotional, like But I think it's because they didn't know any better. You know, like we have so much more science and development now about like things like you know, I think it is harder for us. It wasn't because my mom didn't care. I just don't think obviously did a hundred percent. Like I haven't I had great parents who loved me very much. Like I'm not, you know, and I I hate what I hear about kids who didn't have that, you know, and like that it makes me sad because I truly have talked about this before. Like my parents are both remarried, so I had four amazing parents. I got double blessed. And so I just don't um yeah, I don't think the kids were I don't think the kids were easier. I think it was the times. I think you know that's yeah, just everything was a little simpler. Yeah, I think that you know we talk um about our feelings more. Like we know more about like psychology and child development and neurosciences and lots of people mental parent. I don't do that, but I'm like I'm like old school, but also like in a new way. But I don't but I don't hit my kids. But I also can't say that I won't smack my son across the face when he's 16 years old if he calls me a bitch. I'm just saying my mom smacked me across the face a couple times when I looked her dead in the eyes and called her a bitch. You got Luffy. And I literally would I went, yeah, I deserve that. You know, like and I was old, you know, I wasn't I wasn't a child, I was a teenager old enough to be. Yeah, but it's like you you literally couldn't do that now. I mean, I've seen stories of people like the kids will call the police on their parents for even trying out. I know. I'm not saying, oh, that was the answer, but I can I can see like her reaction get half, you know, it can just well, but I think as parents, we always have to evolve in, you know, as far as like discipline or even just not discipline. I was just reading something the other day online that it was talking about how so like with Jude, the doctors told us to do the cry it out method, and now they're completely changing that and saying that that's and to me, I'm sorry, like like traumatizing or something. Which I get, and because I didn't do that with the girls, and like there is not there's also this like attachment between me and Jude that I feel like is different in our closeness versus like the girls, and I think that it's just like in those like early stages of like infancy, you need that bonding for both people, you know what I'm saying? Obviously, I love all my kids equally, but you know, sleeping. Think of like sleeping, no blanket. Now they can have a blanket, they can't have these little bumper pads, right? They can have these bumper pads if they're like, you know, you can breathe through them, like you know, just all of first they can only be on their back, now they can only lay on their side, now they can only lay on their side, like you know, like everything right, but I think over time, like evolves. It evolves, but also maybe like my my point of bringing that up is that maybe it's not for the best all the time. Maybe having access to too much information is why parenting was easier in the 90s because we didn't we don't need all that. Like I think like as humans, we've been having children for since the beginning of time, and so I don't think sometimes you just have to go back to the hundreds of years. Yes, yes. Like, do we need these fancy bassinets that rock and shake and massage or two? One thing from the nineties that you wish still existed. I wish that everybody had a landline and that kids had to memorize phone numbers. I think that that's and maybe the argument would be well, your if your kid has a phone, your your number's gonna be programmed in there. But what if something happens to their phone and they don't know how to get a hold of you? You know what I mean? I think it's so good. I still remember my mom's landline, my grandparents' line. I mean, I still know their cell phone numbers too. Like I know all of that by heart. Yeah, and you just like you just went with it, right? And I just think that like I don't know. I just feel like for a safety thing, it's really important to kind of know how to contact your your parents if something were to happen, right? I just I don't know, I just miss the nostalgia of having a landline. I want to see my kids sitting in the dining room on the cordless phone, like da doo, you know, talking to their friends. And it just, I don't know. I that was breaking it back. Yeah, we're bringing it back. Maybe it might be a Wi-Fi. I had the clueless phone, I had that phone that was like clear, clear. Yeah. I just I really think that like just core memories come from just spending hours on the phone with my girlfriends, three-way calls and just mine is mine is similar. I feel like if I could take one thing from the 90s, I mean obviously like they still exist to an extent, just like a landline still exists to an extent, but um, it would be like music, like core, like a cassette or a CD player, like a physical. I mean, even a vinyl, if you want to go back even further. I have vinyls from like when I was growing up. I love record players, but I think that just like having like tangible music, tangible art, like you know, um, like books, like things like it's like we don't think that everything is the the card that comes in the CD album and look at like excitement and like having to wait for that. Sometimes they would have the lyrics to wait for anything anymore. We are training ourselves and our children for instant with instant satisfactions and I just it's like I think that that is so it's so messed up, and I think it messes with us mentally, like not having to wait for things and just also like memorizing that entire album. Like you know, you know, traffic one, two, three, like just I would definitely, and I think um I had a client the other day that told me that their grandson, for whatever reason, he is obsessed with cassettes, and so they had to go to Chester's Electronics and they had to find him a cassette player, and they bought him new headphones that attached to it, but then like he like they go to Goodwill and they find it and he just listens to his cassettes, and I was like, I'm bringing that back. I love it. I'm gonna have a cassette player. It was like, you know, little types or whatever, and you could talk and it record. Oh, yeah. So good. All right, Jonna, spankings versus timeouts. What do you think? Um uh I mean I definitely got spankings when I was a kid. It was very rare because my mom would just say, like, if we were in public, it would be like a threat. Like, do you want to go to the bathroom? And that's when I knew like she it's not like she would like pull down my pants and have to like spank my bare bottom. It was just like a little, like, you know, shut the hull. Yeah, like a little smack on the butt. It wasn't anything like I was being beat. But it that was like a very, I think most normal thing. Like it wasn't my mom did not abuse me. Like, that's not how I viewed it. It was just like, oh, I don't want to be spanked. That means I'm being naughty. And well, just like how we talked about how like things were, it's like it was that was just what you did. That it was just how you disciplined. It wasn't a bad thing. I mean, you weren't like, I mean, right, our parents had it even worse. Our parents were getting, you know, oh yeah, go pick your switch off T3. You know, like my dad tells me that story all the time the wooden spoon. Yeah. Like they had a way worse. So I think, you know, we're constantly evolving, but you know, it's not it doesn't mean you were being beat, it was just the way we were disciplined. Yeah, and timeouts, I don't really remember. I'm sure that I probably got some timeouts as a kid, but I don't really remember. I was honestly like a pretty good kid. Like there was not many times like you've talked a lot about your mom. And so I think I'm not really memories like with your dad. Like when you think back to the nineties and those like core memories, do you remember more memories with your mom than you do with your dad? Yeah, because my mom only had to work part-time when my parents were together. My dad was always working, so I was home with my mom most of the time. Right. Yeah, I mean, I have a lot of memories with my dad too, but they were all like good fun. We were doing fun things together, right? It wasn't just like a normal yeah, like my mom and I would just be at home, she would just be blasting Alanis Morissette and then recording me as I run around and dance, and like the Partridge family, like you know, like that was pretty much like what we did all the time was just listen to music and she would just record everything. Right. Like my whole childhood is like on a tape, which is great, you know, it's great. I mean, that's oh, that's another thing that I missed. I would bring that back to the video party, yeah. Having an actual home videos, camcorder, home videos because now it's like we just everything is so piecemeal. Like with our phones, it's like, oh, a one-minute video, a 30-second video, and it's like, okay, how long can we really keep this shit? And then we it gets deleted, or like it's it's not that easy to watch. Like, you can't just like pop it in and watch it on your big screen, you know, a whole day of fun activities, you know. I've just started printing pictures again. Oh, yeah, I have like 30,000 photos downstairs that I have to put into it. I don't care if I may get into the photo albums. I like that my kids can have that, and I like that they and they love looking at them.

SPEAKER_00 43:08

Yes, they do.

SPEAKER_02 43:08

You know, I think the only thing that I I and I've even caught myself like a couple times, I haven't gotten any of them developed yet, but I've been buying instant cameras again. Just and so I just I love that too because you have to wait for it. And yeah, we've been gifting it, like so like the birthday party that we took the girls to, that was what I did. I bought them, I bought them an instant camera and it was like a little scrapbooking kit. And I was like, that's like I don't know. I I love it. I think we're I don't think we're alone though, Jenna. I think a lot of parents are starting to wake up and being like, this isn't the right way. And I think it's all coming back, like becoming more popular now. Like if you go to the store, a lot of times they're um sold out of disposable cameras. I think that yeah, they have alarms on them now because people are stealing them. I had to ask for somebody to they're so expensive. It's like almost forty bucks for like a two. The one we got was nineteen. So that is pretty expensive. Well, it's really expensive to get them developed because they We don't do it at Walgreens anymore. We used to go to Kmart and get our film developed. My mom was friends with the film lady. Sad, sad, sad. All right. And before we wrap up, we just want to leave you with some unnecessary comments that people like to leave on our social media. I have been the victim of most of these. I'm like starting. Then just because your videos are viewed more. Like that one. Oh no, I think they want 2 million views. They're definitely like rage bait, but also like I have just decided that you're like the more likable one on our social media. They do. They like they like you better. They're like, Jenna's the misunderstood stepmom. Tracy's the villain. Shut up.

unknown 44:42

That's not true.

SPEAKER_02 44:45

Um, so yeah, we only have three for you today, but man, these ones are that disappointment. Jenna and I were in absolute tears of some of these. And I'll I'll defend myself after. Whatever, just start about. Love the message, but you really need a flint roller. I'm a hairstylist. And sometimes I make those videos in between clients. Like But also, like the the jumper that she was wearing is textured like that. It had those little like you know. I got it from Costco. I got two of them. And the gray one is just like it, but the black one speckled. So it looks like maybe if anything, she would need a depiller, but not a lint roller. But it wasn't a deep, it was like speckled. Like it was supposed to look like that, but I could see if you look a few hairs out there. I did zoom. But there were only like two or three hairs. And I don't think that that's what people were referring to. It's this one here. Oh, perfect. Okay. Um, from Chef Tank, Mama. You need a lint roller, but also you write. So that's two people. Oh, two people came for me in that one. In this you should write a book if you give an ex-spouse a cookie. I didn't know if that was like reference towards me or if that was reference towards Andy. No, okay. Because I would be the give an ex-maybe, maybe she's saying like you're letting them go away for the weekend. Like, oh, if you give them a cookie, maybe Yeah, you give them a crumb, they're gonna be able to do that. Maybe I think I think that's what they're referring to. Yeah, I don't know. We're really like, I mean, we have a really like positive group of people. We're running out of CCJs, and so maybe, maybe that's for the best. Maybe we'll have to say goodbye to Joan at some point. But to post some more because it's it's gonna keep coming. Are you kidding me? Like the trolls will never stop. Someone's always going to be judging us, even if they're not putting it on our social media. All right. So as we wrap up today, we want to thank you for listening as always, and just leave you with some final thoughts. I think it's important to realize that parenting evolves. Maybe things might have seemed like an easier time, maybe our world seemed like an easier time, but I think you know, parenting evolves and love stays the same. And that's what matters. Definitely. So, you know, you just want to normalize doing your best with what you know. And I think that our parents did the best that they could with what they had at the time, and that's exactly what we're doing. So thank you as always for listening. Thank you for tuning in. Please like, share, comment, tag, what else? Subscribe. Subscribe so we can start making money and come back next week. We are going to be discussing when co-parenting styles clash. So finding that middle ground without losing yourself. And we are going to be recording this in a different way as well, because this is the first time where we'll be recording, but we're going to be separated. I'm going to be in Florida. And uh, I know that it's a shocker that we trade days to some of you, but Andy and Jana and I have traded days. The girls are gonna be with them for if you like two days. Um yeah, that's about it. All right. Love you bye.